Love life more and need pain less.
May be if I stopped trying to control how I hurt, I’d feel a pain that whould teach me what I need to do to love life more and need pain less.
As I looked at my new friend, vulnerable and yet to resilient, I wanted to love and heal her. I couldn’t see it, but I knew she must be cracked beneath the surface. I imagined that she cried, screamed, and wailed herself through lonesome, traumatic nights. I visualized her collapsing into the arms of people she loved—other survivors who understood. I wanted to take it all away. I wanted to save her from a suffering that I could only imagine ate away at her soul day and night. I wanted to be her Prozac. I wanted to make her numb to the reality of her losses.
Then I realized that in that moment, she didn’t need a hero. In that moment, she was existing independent of her tragic past. She wasn’t heaving, having flashbacks, or fighting with the injustices of the world. She was responding to what was in front of her. She was eating a salad, albeit a wilting one; listening to music she seemed to enjoy; and acknowledging me, an absolute stranger sharing a once in a lifetime experience within an eerily tame Times Square. She didn’t need someone to take the pain away forever, because she was taking forever one minute at a time.
We all Choose from moment to moment where we focus our attention and what we tell ourselves. We’re always going to want to have more of the good things, less of the bad things, and a greater sense of control over the distribution. While we can’t control that life involves hurting, we can control how long we endure it and what we do with it.
To a large degree, it’s irrelevant to question why we have to suffer, since that just prolongs acceptance of what is. But it’s human nature to want to understand. If we’re going to form conclusions, they might as well be empowering ones that help us work through pain and let go.
Suffering should be used as a teacher. This teacher will teach you about yourself and the world around you. ~@d1sco_very
There is suffering in the world to make people wiser and stronger.
- Rahul Kumar
- December 18, 2017
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